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Carter Holt Harvey – Old Coach Road 2 October |
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Rub the sand out of the eyes, pull the curtains back cloudy but no rain. Marvelous, half bald BFG’s should be just fine for Bulletproofs day out in the Moutere Forest. Make some lunch, throw a bit of gear in the old “Tincan” and head for the rendezvous opposite the Eve’s Valley mill.
Strewth, a blokes barely got his door open when Pete (vehicle inspector) Lowish turns up demanding to see my club tick √. Yeah well it’s still on the front windscreen Pete – hurp hmm yes – well I don’t see a tow hook on the back, it’s okay Pete I haven’t put it on yet and you need a spark arrestor. Got one of them too Pete – yes well hmmmmmm – yes jolly good.
Bullet proof gives his briefing then eye’s up Pat Pretty and vows and declares that he’s going to get Pat well and truly bogged. Unfortunately for Richard it was dry and Pat got through the day without incident.
Well off we go straight into the pine trees dodging hanging pine branches just itching to take some poor blighters wing mirror. Onto a forestry road until we got to this rather large sawdust heap. A voice comes over the PRS “okay chaps enjoy”. James’s eyes glaze over, he hits the nitrous switch, the Zook leaps out of the starting gates and there’s sawdust flying in all directions. Us middle aged chaps are quite happy to trundle around and attempt the odd bank here and there.
After five minutes of this I notice a number of 4WD’s parked up at one end with all the occupants peering over the bank. Drive over look over the edge and there’s this large whale floundering around doing lot’s of pig rooting. One bright spark is heard to say “I think your 4WD has turned into a 2WD Sheriff”. The whale is attached to a couple of 4WD’s and snatched out of its predicament. The R/F hub is dismantled, everyone decides its terminal and we put it back together. At this point the Rangi bar cops some flak (must have been the new paint job or was it the welding?)
We say goodbye to the Sheriff and trail after our intrepid leader in search of new challenges somewhere in the Moutere Forest. He leads us up firebreaks and down firebreaks until finally we hit the north face of Mt Everest!!! She’s high, steep and rutted but alas too dry and everyone drove straight up.
At the foot of the Moutere Hill (Motueka side) we stop for lunch. Quite a good turn out fifteen odd vehicles but all this changes when a machine from a bygone era comes trundling down the highway, spotted some real 4WDs and decided it had to join in. You guessed it, Rae and a dear old land rover. So off we trot with a new friend in tow heading for the Coastal Highway and onto Old Coach Road. Lloyd Knowles took over the lead and we worked our way through some cleared pine forest to a fence line which we followed until we hit a bog. Seemed easy enough but it did catch the odd one or two out, so after muddy snatch straps were thrown back into some trucks we headed off.
Unbeknown to the rest of us Lloyd had a secret weapon. As we approached a particularly thick patch of gorse Lloyd’s cruiser came to a halt, the driver’s window wound down and this enormous head emerged slowly from the bowels of the cruiser lined up a very large gorse bush and pounced …… “snip” and a meaty thud as the branch bites the mud. Largest pair of pruners I’ve ever seen. The gorse telegraph’s mighty quick as soon as those big old gorse bushes spotted that little grey cruiser headed their way it was like Moses parting the Red Sea, they were soon climbing all over themselves to get out of the reach of those enormous jaws.
Somewhere on top of a ridge where there was not quite so much gorse we stopped for afternoon smoko and wouldn’t you know it, the lads are peering over another bank. One bends over picks up a rock and “glass” next thing you know they are all at it. Small things amuse small ……… If anyone wants spare parts I could recommend the Old Coach Road area as there’s plenty of spares out there.
After doing battle with even more gorse it became time for some head home and the remainder of us did our best to keep Kermit in sight as he made a bee line for the nearest pub.
Thanks to Richard and helpers and Pete √.
Kerry Smith
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Past club trips 